What a beautiful feeling when something that has been the source of some of our greatest pain is no longer painful. What a beautiful thing when whatever or whoever that is no longer puppeteers our emotions or the direction of our heart.
And what a tragic thing to still be trapped in what happened sometimes years ago. For it to still have such power over us that we cannot experience joy. That we cannot experience intimacy. And because of that things that were handed as gifts to us pass us by. The ones that got away. The missed chances that could change everything.
I have been in both places.
Do I step back into that old prison cell from time to time? Absolutely I do. And I may squirm & even squat there for a little while. Because it’s familiar. And still feels ironically safe. But not for long. Usually in just a short period of time I realize where I am & where my Good Father is trying to take me. And just like that I get up & walk out. And on the contrary, sometimes He has to lovingly strong-arm me out as I kick & I scream. By His Grace alone there go I.
Closure just isn’t always given to us by the source of our pain. No matter how much we beg for it. For the answers to why. And how. How mind-bending is it to never know the reasons something turned the way it did? I get it.
And sometimes foolishly we find it stumbling along by realizing we no longer even need it.
Thank You for helping us. Thank You for loving us too much to leave us in those dark & barren places. Thank You for showing us the way out. May we recognize that when we see it. Help us God to do it. Even afraid. For You are with us. Help us to take Your hand when You extend it. Thank You for reaching out over & over. And over. We are so lost without You.
In Jesus’ wonderful restoring name,
Much love y’all & the freedom & joy of closure- however it may come,