I came in Saturday night after having a really nice weekend with some sweet friends & as soon as I walked in the door it hit me – unbelievable gratitude. This happens to me periodically & when it does I just let it flow. Honestly I don’t know if I could stop it anyway.
As I shut and locked the door behind me my knees nearly buckled. As I looked around my cozy little apartment – at all the little decorations & the pictures of family and friends – the warmth and coziness of it all just absolutely overwhelmed me. I began to weep & thank the Lord for being so incredibly good to me. It doubled me over.
Please don’t read this incorrectly – I’m not talking about getting emotional over material things. Many of these things I’ve had for years, others purchased or given to me more recently. It’s much more about this unbelievable feeling of being “home.” In a very personal space that I have been able to create, that I’m able to afford & well enough to take care of. And I am very aware at any moment that could change.
So many times things in my life have been out of control. So many times things have been taken from me – things I got elated over because I finally thought I had them only to have whatever it was smashed into my face & rubbed like gravel & shards of glass down into my heart. Like the world’s cruelest joke was being played on me. But through it all I never could turn my back on God. And He certainly never turned His on me.
I still somehow miraculously have hope – Big. Beautiful. Hope. I would not have that nor a home, joy in the midst of great sorrow, peace in the middle of chaos, strength to get up & keep going even when everything in me emotionally & physically is screaming NO – I know that I know that I know deep, deep down in my know-er I would not have ANY of it without God & His Love working in & through me.
Every single day of my life is a gift. Period.
And I know that I have missed the mark over & over & over again –
I am so thankful His mercies are new every morning.
Much love y’all – & much thankfulness to God today,
For He deserves ALL the glory ~
(image found on Pinterest)