One of my “sisters” from across the world (who has become quite dear to my heart) sent me this privately. And it has been speaking to me.
I had to stop & ponder –
How would I really feel if my two greatest heart’s desires did not come to pass?
A deeply cutting question that required a deeply honest answer.
I can truthfully say that I have come to a place in my life where I am willing to accept what God has for me, & what He may not.
I have said out of my mouth to Him on both counts –
“Nevertheless Lord, not my will but Yours be done.”
I know what I want.
And I even believe that what I want lines up with His word.
And I also know with my whole heart that God is able to perform it. But whether He will remains to be seen.
I have seen these kind-of-things happen in other peoples’ lives. And I have seen the opposite as well.
It is a mystery left up only to God as to why for some & why not for others.
I have learned that some things we’re best served not to question. As much as many of us think we do, we do not have all the answers. In the small things & the biggest.
It’s OK to just simply say “I don’t know.”
That’s confirmation for someone.
I have told Him many times “Lord if You never do another thing for me, You have done so much more than I ever deserve.” I mean that in ways I can never properly convey to anyone else.
So even if I don’t get to see my greatest dreams fulfilled in this life, God is still so, so, so good.
In spite of me.
I can honestly say that.
In my humanity, I’d rather it not go that way.
I’d be lying if I said anything less.
But I trust Him with my life –
The whole bless-ed thing.
I believe I have surrendered my dreams to God.
I think that’s The Golden Key –
Born on the backs of grief unspeakable & incredible love,
Lessons & life-lived.
And holy-because-I’m-His worn & weary knees.
He says He will complete that which He started.
Phillipians 1:6 ~
One way or another He will.
In that I shall rest.
You can be trusted with it all.
Much love y’all & surrendering our deepest to Him,