As I sit and drink my coffee in the quiet this morning, peering into this coming year, I wonder what it holds. I can tell you that I am believing for good things. To see my son get great breakthrough & move forward in his life. To see myself meet that special man that my heart desires, that loves God & will love me like never before. And alongside that to continue to grow spiritually, to get more healthy physically & to get even stronger mentally.
I do realize that I may not receive everything that I hope for these next 12 months & that is just OK. I am truly OK with the process. I have learned what I say over and over- that God’s ways are certainly not my ways. I have learned that I have to trust Him above all else – above people, above things, above time.
He does not exist in time as we do. He knew that we would need 24-hour days & 7-day weeks. I love that His mercies are new every single morning & that great is His faithfulness. Because boy would I be up that famous creek without a paddle in sight without that.
I certainly could not always see it as I was going through it, but now when I look back over these last five years especially – I can. Where I have grown & learned & loved so much more. Where the unhealthy & binding things have fallen off of my life like a bird molting her feathers. Inconspicuously & a little at a time. And in such a way that it didn’t hinder my moving forward. Because let’s face it, if He did it all at once I would be crippled. Many times we say we’d rather God just do something that way – but we really have no clue how cataclysmic that would be. What an upheaval to our soul it would be. We can only handle so much. And God, in all of His infinite wisdom, knows this.
So if you find yourself in a season right now that is super-uncomfortable & you wonder when it’s ever going to end, stop for a moment & realize that you are right in the palm of God’s hand. The safest place to be. And as long as you don’t keep wiggling free & jumping out – as long as you stay pliable & willing – this season will end. I promise you it will. I don’t know how long you will have to be there – that’s up to Him. But I do know that the end result will be miraculous. Things you never thought possible will finally be. One sweet Hallelujah after another & from Glory to Glory.
THAT is the God we serve.
Be in-couraged today. Be brave. There is nothing so dark – so deep or so wide – in your life that God cannot handle it. That God cannot heal & make new. Trust me, I am your poster child.
He has brought me through – in somewhat random order – molestation, rape, an alcoholic parent, a suicidal parent, the loss of a sibling to suicide (who loved Jesus by the way), getting shot with a handgun, dabbling in the occult, drug & alcohol abuse of my own, addiction in the life of someone I love more than anything this side of heaven, promiscuity & all the heartache that brings (what an understatement), abortions, being physically & horribly emotionally abused by someone who said they loved me, infidelity – both by my hand & by the hand of another – I could go on. Rejection after rejection after rejection. Heartbreak after heartbreak after heartbreak.
If anyone has a reason to be really, really messed up right now – still to this day – it is me. The fact that I am upright, alive & healthy at almost 47 years old all is nothing short of a miracle. And my God, my good good Father, is the ONLY reason why. If I had not trusted Him, if I had not gotten back on the wheel after jumping off no telling how many times- none of that would be so. I know that in the deepest places of my know-er.
Much love y’all & much more trust in our Maker – who better to handle all of our folly & pain & who better to make them beautiful than Him,
“Behold, I am making all things new.” Revelation 21:5