I wanted to talk some about what love looked like when I was coming up. It oddly struck me in the wee hours so I wanted to share.
In a nutshell, there wasn’t a lot of the “traditional love” we see on TV & in the movies in our home when I was a youngin’.
Meaning like The Beaver Cleavers & The Brady Bunchers – you know where I’m going.
We had our dysfyunctions & really weren’t big huggers or kiss-on-the-cheek-ers. We rarely said I love you & I remember a lot of yelling & arguing & sadness & anger. And rightfully so – there was lots to be mad about.
It was what it was.
The love I did know came in the form of plenty of good hot meals & crisp fresh sheets – clothes cared for in the best way, a clean & tidy home & a beautiful yard full of birds & butterflies & flowers & trees.
Amidst all the strife & what-not there were pockets of peace, of serenity – that we all so desperately needed. I bow to our Mom for that – she sure knew how to make a home.
Some of my favorite memories are of all of us coming together ’round the table to share the spread that Mom had labored over – and it never, ever disappointed. We would laugh & talk & gobble it down like it was our last meal. Family means so much.
How we lose sight of that baffles me sometimes.
Anyway, I am not even sure why I shared that today. Maybe some of you can relate. Maybe some of you, like me, have struggled through the years with people showing us love. For the longest time I was always the first to pull out of a hug. And when the boy who was sweet on me in 3rd grade told me he loved me, all I could say was “Thank you!” – I was so taken aback by it I didn’t even know what to do. It felt strange & wonderful & weird & scary.
Crazy what I can remember like it was yesterday. I can almost feel the school yard beneath my feet even now – the roughness of the cool brick wall we were leaning on. Love would take on many forms for me as I grew –
And I was fooled over & over many times by its counterfeits.
As I look back over my life, I see with 20/20 clarity that love was always there – in the form of home & family & friends & pets & humanly greatest of all – the love I have for my son. That one still blows me away the deeper I go into it every day. And the good, true & loyal love of a man, – well, I have yet to know that in the capacity I desire, but I believe I will.
I must end with this –
The Love from My Heavenly Daddy –
My rising & my lying down
My sun & my moon
My comforter & my deliverer
My wheel within the wheel –
He is The Greatest Love of All.
I could not love myself or love another soul today without receiving It & knowing it deep, deep down in my knower.
No-way, no-how, no-can-do.
We. Are. All. So. Loved.
God help us to see!!
No matter how we were raised, or the lack thereof.
No matter who showed up & who left –
Receive Him today.
He is waiting.
Much of It y’all, so, so much more,
(image courtesy of Charles Schulz & vi.sualize.us)