Surely

Surely He has borne our griefs
And carried our sorrows – Isaiah 53:4-6
Selah…..
~~~
That is the scripture that dropped down into my soul last night as I was climbing into bed. When I heard the whisper of those life-giving words I got down on my knees without even thinking – onto the little accent rug I keep there & mashed my face into its fibers.
And thanked God from my guts for it, big crocodile tears & all.

I don’t want anyone to think I am the Eeyore-type,
The ol’ Oh-woe-is-me kind of person.
I certainly am not.
I realize I write a lot about the pains & pangs of our existence here-
But I certainly have had my share of grief & sorrow.

I write about those things because I know lots of you have suffered the same fates. So many, in the church especially, don’t like to admit their great struggles, their doubts & fears. It’s more acceptable to put on the fake face & answer politely “I’m blessed” when asked how we are. We don’t like to expose our darkness.

Truth is, I am – very blessed that is.
And I also struggle & I have doubts & fears.
Just. Like. You.
Even the “perfect” people who seem to sail through Christianity on some ethereal red carpet do too.
But to admit it is to admit weakness. Right?
Jesus said His strength is perfected in that place – so why be afraid to tell the truth?

I digress..

Carry your grief & your sorrows to His feet. Lay them all out.
Admit your horrors, your insecurities, admit where you have failed miserably & can do nothing about it now. Confess how regret eats you alive sometimes & you could almost die from some of the choices you’ve made. That’s what I do.
He can take it.
And. He. Will.

And every single time, this miraculous thing occurs –
I feel His love slowly filling in those chasms –
Left by the digging & the clawing where I’ve desperately tried to cover them & pretend they aren’t there.
I feel His love seeping into my anxieties & deeply embedded beliefs that something else really bad is on its way.
He covers me over. And Over. And He never tires.

He IS our Great restorer.
I will never forget the beautiful day He told me down by the sea that nothing is ever truly lost in Him.
That keeps me from coming completely undone –
When everything in me wants to.

Hallelujah Lord.
Hallelujah.
You alone are worthy.

You are so, so beyond good to us – in spite of us.

Much love y’all & carrying it all to Him, for He cares for you.
Yes, even you.

Bonnie

(image courtesy of pastoralexhayes.wordpress.com)

grieving-friend2

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