Hope, Love & The Waiting

“Hope is the most exciting thing in life and if you honestly believe that love is out there, it will come. And even if it doesn’t come straight away there is still that chance all through your life that it will.” ~ Josh Hartnett
~~~
And the beautiful, wonderful, miraculous, exquisite thing is – we are already SO Loved.
 
For most of my life I belied the lie that I wasn’t, not really.
Not in a way that wouldn’t hurt me deeply – somehow.
 
I have had my proverbial face & heart smushed into the muck over & over. And yet I kept getting back up. And each time I rose – it felt like that damnable target was still emblazoned across my being – screaming out the message “What else you got??”
 
I am tired y’all. I have been tired for a long time.
There are things deeply embedded in my heart that I want for my son & for myself. And I feel like we have both been hit & hit hard ~ over & over. And over.
And all along the way our Good, Good Father has blessed us, encouraged us, helped us up, laid us down, lifted us & lowered us when necessary.
 
There is life in the precious & all-powerful blood of Christ.
It is why we are still here.
It was, is & always will be enough to cover all of our transgression.
And yours too, yes even yours. That was for someone.
 
I do not believe I will be tired forever.
I recognize God’s timing is perfect & mine is not.
I recognize His wisdom stands & mine is pitiful in comparison.
I realize His way for me is far beyond my idea of best.
I am becoming more – all & only- because of Him.
 
Hallelujah Lord.
You are so good to us, in spite of us.
And we are so, so thankful.
 
Much love y’all & big, beautiful Hope,
 
Bonnie
 
Many are saying of me, “God will not deliver him.” But you, LORD, are a shield around me, my glory, the One who lifts my head high. I call out to the LORD, and he answers me from his holy mountain. I lie down and sleep; I wake again, because the LORD sustains me. I will not fear though tens of thousands assail me on every side. – Psalm 3:2-6
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