The Difficult-y Of Loving What Made Me Who I am

I have to say that, though many things have been beyond difficult, I would not change what I have been though in my life.

Because I have royally screwed up so much myself & had many things done to me I didn’t ask for, I can relate to a lot of people on a level others can’t. I have learned not to be judgmental. To be compassionate. To not be so quick to form an opinion of what I see on the surface. But to look deeper at the real person. Sometimes buried so deep, the naked & un-empathetic eye could never see them.

I have walked, crawled & sometimes been drug through physical, emotional & sexual abuse. I have aborted children. I have seen addictions up close & personal – for years at the time. I have suffered from infidelity & played a part on the other side of it too. I have been deceived many, many times – some worse than others. On a number of levels. I have lost a loved one to suicide & watched the attempt of another right in front of me at an age I wasn’t meant to have to handle such things. Just to name a few.

Throughout the last 20 years, I have been healed & set free of much of that damage. Still other areas are in need. He has His finger on them, trust me. He loves me too much to leave these things undone. I am a messy, squirmy but willing work-in-progress. And a very, very grateful one too.

Each new revelation I get, each new step of growth in God is a gift to me. Each one humbles me more. And once I have come through one area & am headed down the road of another lesson, another layer of freedom peeling clean, I try to stay mindful of others going through similar things. To maybe be a light in the dark places. All of our paths are different and at different seasons. I believe God is the answer. I believe He is our Great Hope. I will point you to Him. Encourage you to pray. Encourage you to not give up. I will not pretend to have it all figured out. Because I don’t. But I know who my Redeemer is.
And He lives.


Thank you for every experience Lord, and for not leaving me all to myself to handle them. You. Are. So. Good.


Much love y’all, and a lot less living in the past – but being thankful for it.


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