Cry Out

I came home from work last night & spiffied up my little apartment, lit candles & turned on the Bethel station on Pandora. One of my long-time best friends was coming for dinner so I was busy creating a peaceful atmosphere, for us both. I got out everything necessary, poured myself a glass of red wine & started cooking. All of a sudden, it hit. Several times I had to just stop. Wave after wave it bowled me over. I can hardly describe it – but it felt almost like falling down a long, dark well. And there was nothing I could do about it.
I found my way to the sacred place I’ve made on my living room floor & cried out to God the things that were swirling in my soul, ending with *Jesus please help me.* That’s all I could muster. So blinded with grief over a recent loss that I thought I might just disappear. Like I was drowning. It was an awful, helpless feeling & one I am growing so weary of.
 
Not long after, He answered. I felt it lift enough that I was able to get back up & pull it together to finish my cooking. Thankfully, my friend was running late & because she knows me so well, I knew I could just be me in all my mess when she arrived. Talking with her, crying & laughing & sharing lent me such grace & I felt God’s warm, powerful arms wrap solidly around me. He confirmed me & loved on me good-fashioned ~ my Mercy & my Rescuer in the storm.
 
If you are struggling through grief right now, you are not alone. Please don’t allow yourself to completely slip away. Like I have almost done in recent weeks. There are people who love you, and One for sure who loves you most of all. 
Cry out to Jesus. He will answer.
He. Will.
Much love y’all,
Bonnie
 
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