“But grace can be the experience of a second wind, when even though what you want is clarity and resolution, what you get is stamina and poignancy and the strength to hang on.” ~ Anne Lamott
I think I spend most of my life in that state of want for clarity y’all. I am wired to need to understand things & I can get obsessive when I can’t -imperfection #1001. (I would have made a great detective. I am very sleuth-y) And sometimes my skills are seriously lacking. I’ve been perplexed in the past over some things I didn’t see coming & they, in turn, had me down for the count. I remember once trying to figure out a good way to describe how I feel at times & immediately in my mind I saw myself – as an innocent little girl sitting smack-dab in the middle of a gigantic gazillion piece puzzle that I have to master all by myself. And I can’t move till I do. I hate big puzzles with tiny pieces. Not my thing.
Now I know in reality, I don’t have to do it alone – don’t go gettin’ preachy on me. That’s just what it FEELS like. I am a human. Feelings do come into play occasionally & tend to monopolize the situation. (Ladies, I know you get it.) And sometimes I just want to blink out for a while, & come back – I don’t know – like LATER. Hoping that the whatever-makes-no-sense-really-tough-thing is gone – over. But it doesn’t work like that.
Grace, Mercy & Love – they are my only legitimate fixes. My bread & my water. And many times the only soft place to land. That and a secret I keep in my back pocket – I try to stay grateful no matter what. Man, does that help when I can’t see my hand in front of my face. Trust me, been there too many times to count. Try it if you struggle with that. It really, really helps.
Much love & peace y’all,
(image courtesy of wikimedia.org)