The Quicksand Of Scrambling For More & The Answer We Really Need

“You are not a mistake. You are not a problem to be solved. But you won’t discover this until you are willing to stop banging your head against the wall of shaming and caging and fearing yourself.” ~ Geneen Roth

How many of us adorn ourselves in different ways to cover up how we really feel inside? The things we do mowing other people down as we climb the ladder to only-God-knows where – the hurt we cause along the way. We don’t forget, but maybe we become callous. We live in denial. But it never goes away. That realization that we are sacrificing so much, and for what? The hole we dig deeper & deeper, going no-where – all the while thinking we are going some-where. Only to find nothing at the end of our rainbow & then to cry out “Oh God, what have I done?” I am convinced regret is one of the absolute worst things to live with. It has been for me anyway.

I look around me all the time and see people scratching & clawing their way to acceptance. To feel good about themselves by acquiring more. Bigger, better, more expensive, new, newer, young, younger – you name it. I have been there.

And it is all nothing but a mirage over quicksand.

None of us will ever – I repeat EVER – find our true worth in things, in status. In wealth accumulation, in a new boyfriend/husband, girlfriend/wife. The grass is greenest where you water it.

We have got to be honest with ourselves. To really face the man or woman in the mirror. To ever own what we’ve done. To stop the madness that will devour a lifetime if we aren’t careful. Poof…

And to lay it all down at the feet of the only place I believe we will ever find true acceptance, true forgiveness ~
Love itself. Sweet Jesus. Lord. God. Almighty.
Who knows our beginning & our end in this wide world & everything in the in-between.

Where peace is found & joy unspeakable even when all personal hell hisses all around us. Where we can collapse naked before our maker in the sum total of our ugly mess & find mercy & the beautiful gift of grace to turn life around. To clothe us with dignity & self-respect & to love ourselves – can you imagine? — maybe for the first time ever. To find true life, true living. Freedom to be who we were created to be. To be our own favorite-fit-worn-in-just-right old blue jeans.

Oh to taste & see that the Lord is good. He really, really, really is.

Hallelujah.

Much love & more honest living y’all,

Bonnie

(image courtesy of greentreews.com)

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