I apologize for being out of commission for so long. Between the holidays & then moving into my very own place again, I have been quite pre-occupied the last few months. And extremely moody. Like I imagine a butterfly must feel before it’s released from the cocoon.
But I hope to be back at this writing thing regularly starting well, now. 🙂
I could not be happier about my new place. All 744 blissful square feet of it. I have never lived in an apartment community like this before. I was concerned maybe the noise around & above me would be unnerving but I have discovered it’s quite the opposite. I actually find the must-be-a-mighty-big-fella who lives overhead’s heavy footsteps to be strangely comforting. Even late at night. The people beside me never make a peep & the neighbors I have bumped into in my comings & goings have primarily all seemed nice. The place seems to have a happy feel to it. Not to mention there is almost everything you would need within a 2 mile radius right there.
My nice-sized patio overlooks the woods & the walking trail & from it I can hear the beautiful pool that is nestled in the center of it all beckoning me. I cannot wait till May when it opens. And I’m actually contemplating paying the work-out facility a visit as well – until it’s nice enough out to start using the walking trail that surrounds the property. I really need to do something. I have been sedentary long enough.
Interlude: A big shout out to my awesome family & friends who helped me to get all moved in & settled. Because of your help, I have made it home for sure. 100%.
So with all of that bliss out of the way….
The first few nights I tossed & turned & so did my lil brown (& slowly turning white) buddy Otis. Partially due – I am sure – to getting used to the different lights & sounds. A major highway buzzes just through the woods behind us – but the little fan I bought for my nightly- required-for-sleeping white noise muffles it nicely. I did notice I started dreaming really crazy (like really REALLY -more so than in the past) & to top it off – one night the decorative-thingy I had hung over the front door comes crashing down to the floor below & shatters into a gazillion pieces at about 3am. OK.
And a few separate times this last week, Otis (who is going blind & deaf) jumped up on the couch as we were lounging or visiting with friends & would bark & bark & get all back-hair-raisey looking at something I could not see towards the direction of the bedroom. That’s where he pointed his angst every time. And that’s when I felt like something didn’t like me being happy & was doing its best to screw with me. Not to mention, I had a meltdown on my birthday this past Sunday for various (quite stupid) reasons & have also battled my old foe of rejection pretty strongly the last few days. To the point that even I know it’s not natural – because I have overcome so much. I am a spiritual person & have encountered some things over the years that could not be explained away. If you don’t believe in that kind of thing, that’s certainly your choice. No judgment here. I just know what seems real to me.
So I decided Monday night I had had it – after yet another freaked-out episode with my dog. I was beyond tired of ducking the punches being thrown at me & my new beginning. And I swung back.
I got some oil and went around to every doorpost & window & prayed against whatever was trying to screw up my happy time. I slept better the last 2 nights & Otis hasn’t had any more fits. And I didn’t do it afraid. I did it confident that I had my backing. Like being on the playground facing the class bully with the biggest, baddest kid in school standing behind me.
Thank you Lord.
For my new place. For my son’s new life.
And for my own new beginning.
I am so thankful I am not doing it alone.
Much love y’all,