Seen

“To be fully seen by somebody, then, and be loved anyhow – this is a human offering that can border on miraculous.”
Elizabeth Gilbert, Committed: A Skeptic Makes Peace with Marriage

Oh to be fully seen & still fully loved. Selah…

(I am speaking humanly. I realize I am already there with God so no preachy letters please.)

Isn’t that what we all want?

I have been on a few (cough) dating sites the last 3 years and I must say, after reading possibly thousands of profiles – I have fought feeling completely boring in comparison to “what men want.”

I don’t skydive & probably never will. I don’t ride rides at theme parks. Heights & high speeds freak me out & I don’t care to overcome that. It’s not on my bucket list. Boarding an airplane now on numerous occasions has been considered a victory for me. I don’t climb rocks or snowboard. I am not a sports fanatic. I don’t compete in competitions of any kind. And I don’t desire to go-go-go 24/7. I actually enjoy & cherish down-time.

I offer more simplistic things. I love God. I love the couch & my favorite blanket. I love cooking & serving & movies & shopping & dreaming. I love music & socializing with my friends & growing that circle. It colors my life. I love to talk about all kinds of things & share & encourage. I like to visit new places & I like to learn. I like to be alone too. I am no longer the insecure Cling-on who has to be up under someone constantly anymore. I am your basic good girl. As good as I can humanly be. Most of the time. Maybe. On a good day.  🙂

So after talking over dinner with a great friend last night –  she admonished me to shake off the ignoramus feeling that I’m-boring-&-what-guy-would-want-that?  She told me that I was NOT & to the right man, I will be enough. That’s advice I will take – thank you friend. It’s still echoing in my head.

The beautiful thing is she & I are alike in a lot of ways & she has met the most wonderful guy & he loves her just the way she is. And she loves him the same. They are truly 2 peas in a pod. I couldn’t be happier for her. Or for him.

I have been on this learning curve that I am enough for just over 3 years now. I’m conservatively 90% there. That’s not too shabby considering the first 41+ years of my life I believed I wasn’t.

I don’t necessarily believe in soul mates anymore.

I do believe it’s possible to find someone who fully sees me & still fully loves me. And if the shoe he offers fits this Cinder-girl, I will gladly return it in kind.

In the meantime, I’ll keep growing & learning & believing more in me.

Much love y’all,

Bonnie

wine12

(Courtesy of everaftercostumes.com)

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