Gripping My Own Frailty

“As we come to grips with our own selfishness and stupidity, we make friends with the impostor and accept that we are impoverished and broken and realize that, if we were not, we would be God. The art of gentleness toward ourselves leads to being gentle with others..” – Brennan Manning 

Truth.

The more flawed & twisted & frail I’ve realized I am these last few years, the more I have become accepting of others. To think that I used to look down my rotten nose when someone, anyone – did anything wrong turns my stomach now. I was a self-righteous snot in a “churched” environment that spewed fear & perfection & striving. And I bought it. Oddly at the time, I needed the strict structure it offered –  because I was such a train-off-the-tracks. It worked for my good & I am grateful for that. But it took me years to shake free of the driving desire to rid myself of everything imperfect – the worst exercise in futility ever. As hard as I was on myself, I was equally hard on my son & my husband. Regret is a tough thing to shake.

As a result of finally breaking free from the stronghold that all had on my life, I have become a bit of a rebel in some ways. Some I am & some I am not – so proud of. Yes, imperfections are still intact.

I am a work in progress & I am thankful to the nth degree that my Potter hasn’t left me to myself. Even when I jump off the rotator & hit the floor with a splat, He never tires of picking me up & placing me back to safety. My wheel within the wheel.

Let’s be kind to each other. Speak the truth when we feel we must but do it in love. Leave the swords at the door. In fact bury them if you are willing. Carrying those things gets tiring anyway doesn’t it? Mine sure did.

Much love y’all – & less judgment – much less.

Bonnie

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(Courtesy of pastorjesusfigueroa)

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One thought on “Gripping My Own Frailty

  1. Learning to be kind to ourselves can be the hardest lesson, especially when we’ve grown up in a “churched” environment and have a white-knuckled grasp on our checklist…which is not necessarily His list.

    Thanks for sharing this, Bonnie. It’s a nice punctuation – a well placed period in an affirmative statement – for what God has been doing in molding me to get me through the next door he has opened for us.

    Best,
    Emily Grace

    Like

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