Some people have dust bunnies – I have hair bunnies. And I am constantly cleaning them off the bathroom floor. Constantly.
If I don’t collect them up pretty frequently it would be embarrassing if anyone came to visit. Just sayin’. And this morning as I was scooping up another – I think it was # 1,000,001 – it hit me. We all have them – these hair bunnies. Metaphorically. And if we don’t keep them under control – it’s not pretty.
We possess & expel these things that are a part of us & not even necessarily a bad part – again, as long as they are controlled. And then some of them eventually just can’t be so we have to move drastically to rid ourselves of the thing. As we go about our day, day after day – living our lives, these little things come out of us in response to life (that frankly can be pretty shitty sometimes). And they start to gather. Habits, thoughts, patterns, emotions (Lord Jesus help us women!), & obsessions that drive us. And they are all obligatory right? Most likely born eons ago as lies about ourselves demanding we buy into them. You can just insert your thing here ________. No one is watching. It’s ok – just admit it. You probably know exactly what it is. No judgment here ’cause I am willing to bet my blank is more loaded than yours.
When left unkempt, ignored, swept under the rug – what happens? Implosions, explosions & piles & piles & piles. And then we get overwhelmed & do nothing – because it’s just too much to handle right now, right? But the problem is that with each passing day the piles grow a little. And a little more. And before we know it, we are standing in or crawling through the middle of stuff that has come out of us – that we haven’t dealt with. And some of us are even drowning & we can’t see any hope on the horizon so we are just letting it drag us under. We are tired of fighting. I so get that. Much more than you know.
So now what do we do?
We must ask for…. – brace yourself – HELP. (yep, there it is -another 4-letter word.)
Sometimes we just have to. I am not ashamed to admit I went to a counselor for about 3 years solid – sometimes weekly. I desperately needed it. I was a prisoner of fear – & was surrounded with enough opportunity to live there permanently if I kept giving it my energy.
And this counselor was GOOD, let me tell you. Her goal is always to get you well then send you on your way – not keep you in a circle of dependence just so she can take your cabbage. No, no – not this lady. She has this gift – I called it a laser-beam. She could hone in on the muck-in-your-middle & then taking you by the hand, she would walk through it with you till it was all clean. If you would let her. I found out quickly I was a integral part of that process. If we don’t participate, healing won’t come. It just won’t. Please note that one – bonus nugget.
The key is finding the right kind of help- which may take more than one try. But please, whatever you do – lean into the process. It’s ok that you aren’t perfect (News flash – no one is. Not even those haughty Christians that love to say ‘I’ll pray for you” then look down their nose because they sin differently than you. Been there, done that & busted it all to hell.)
Asking for help is brave & empowering – not weak & final. The lies we buy – “If I admit I am really f***** up that’s the end of me. If I say I can’t do it on my own anymore, then it’s all over.” (Pride comes before a fall – our ancient foe.)
Right now I am jumping up & down inside yelling at the top of my lungs – PLEASE try, PLEASE ask for help – DON’T GIVE UP!!!!
Nothing (including another person) is worth drowning for. There is a life preserver right there next to you. It’s right there.
From hair bunnies to hell & back & everything in between – there is hope. Always.
Much love & help y’all,