Sh*t Storms, Personal Visitations & Crazy Wonderful Movies Of The Hope Kind

I am a sucker for a great movie. The best of them move me, inspire me & speak to me.

Last night I watched The Other Woman. It was comic genius. It was twisty, it was heart-warming & heart-wrenching. I will be finding the best deal & buying it for my collection.

After it was over, I practically skipped to my roommate’s bedroom & exclaimed just how great it was. And then I took Otis out for his final relief session of the evening. I still had a grip on my favorite blanket that I’d just been snuggled under so I plopped down on the porch swing & wrapped my legs up in it whilst he did his business. The sun was on the back-end of setting & that beautiful pink & orange color graced the sky, fast-fading behind the tree line. I swung there, hugged myself & watched. Up the drive by one of the ponds 2 deer came into the clearing & lingered awhile. If they’d had a clue I was there they’d have skidaddled, as is their M-O. I love it when I get to steal a few moments of their time unawares. Any second I expected Snow White & her 7 little friends to pop out of the bushes. It was that kind of magical. I am not even kidding.

Following this grandeur that other-worldly feeling I get sometimes swept through my soul like the softest most perfect kind of wind. I knew what was coming. My own personal visitation. And it’s not the first time it has happened on that porch. It’s a special one, I’ll tell you that.

In just a few seconds, nearly a life-time of sh*t-storms passed by me – the worst & least of them. Abuses, infidelities (both with my being the other woman & then having it done to me some time later), disappointments by the hundreds- maybe even thousands. Lies, betrayals on differing levels – being duped to the nth degree. The gamut – amuck.

Following quickly behind it was this infinite & almost tangible invisible mighty hand that came along & swept it all off to the side, out of my peripheral view. I mean, it was still there but it wasn’t on me anymore.

I have forgiven so much – I have. God has healed me so deeply in ways I never though I’d see this side of heaven. But regardless the sting of those life-things-I-never-wanted have always been lurking. Like chains with just enough give on them that I don’t know they’re there till I start getting more free. To jerk me back & remind me – “HA! See?? You will never have what your little heart desires…”  The hissing laugh & lie of my enemy.

But last night, right there curled up with my blankie like a little girl again in that swing – I SAW it. Inside my soul. I saw my future in sweet shadowy scenes & felt the smallish but larger-than-life twinge of the joys to surely come my way. The joys I have not fully known yet in the measure I would want. Joys not only for me but in the lives of the people I love & hold dearest ~ most of all for my son.

The laughter & lies dissipated – I felt my heart swell huge again for the 2nd time in 24 hours. I felt fully bIessed as I gulped down yet another quenching drink of big, beautiful hope. And it satisfied me to my core – for a little while. I’ll take it. Hallelujah.

I got up changed. I felt it. I left something there, like a snake shedding its skin. I may even need to come back & re-read this again sometime as a human-reminder, but something shifted on my behalf on Tuesday night – August 26th, 2014. Something I do not deserve, that I have not earned. A gift of grace to take the place of burdens I both invited in & that were thrust upon me. They were hellish either way. 

Here’s to the sh*t storms, movies that move us, & the touch of The Master’s hand that nudges us forward when we just can’t do it on our own ~

Much love & glimpses of joys to come y’all,

Bonnie

Psalm 34:18 The Message (MSG)
18 If your heart is broken, you’ll find God right there; if you’re kicked in the gut, he’ll help you catch your breath.

 

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11 thoughts on “Sh*t Storms, Personal Visitations & Crazy Wonderful Movies Of The Hope Kind

  1. Carl Ray

    Powerful.

    That’ll preach and teach to some and definitely inspire others (it inspired me). But, that will be so much more for you.

    Not only will that solidify your hope, that will strengthen your faith and your spirit. That will allow for those marvelous wonders you so desire in your life. That is part of what the Holy Spirit does for us when we really let Him work in us. That will be the Joy that brings the Peace we all seek. Happiness is good but it doesn’t like to stick around all the time. Joy, the other hand, creates happiness and once you find it, you never lose it.

    Remember that when you come back to revisit it. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

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