“Follow your heart…..”
I would say tread lightly – VERY lightly when swallowing those 3 words as a solution for your relational dilemmas.
It’s so commonly used as advice when torn over what to do – “Oh – just follow your heart – Do what’s in your heart.”
As a Christian, I’ve read up on the heart in the bible- & it’s interesting what it says about this mysterious thing we have encased in our chests. It seems to have a life all its own. Among others:
“The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?”
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.” (meaning give over all that’s in your heart to Him – not using it as a steering wheel for your life independent of Him – where we will surely crash. Well at least I will surely crash -maybe not you… 😉 )
“But what comes out of the mouth proceeds from the heart, and this defiles a person.”
“Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.”
Like – for myself – I feel I have a “good” heart. Overall, I try to love people right where they are, accept them, not judging, condemning, etc. Speaking as a generalization.
But that same “good” heart has led me into some situations that were not healthy for me relationally with the opposite sex. . Even though I felt so strongly about a person. Like, how could this be wrong if it feels this good? Baffled by how my heart has been so unwilling to let go. I can see something, hear or smell something & I am right back there. You know where. Like it was yesterday. The heart has a tendency to forget what your spirit or your head told you that had you walk away to begin with. It only seems to cling to the warm fuzzy stuff.
On the flip side of all that, of course, it can also lead us to do things for people out of compassion or just love in general – but that’s not what I am addressing here. Stay with me.
I read this on FB the other day but another writer I follow & it’s powerful – Written By Lena
You can delete them from your contacts and erase every message they had ever sent to you. You can throw away anything that reminds you of them, to start over brand new. You can act unaffected at the mention of their name. Nonchalantly, you go about your days, accepting things won’t ever be the same. Out of sight, out of mind. All wounds heal in time. Right? The truth is, there’s no delete button for the heart. Time and distance can not erase the love you felt from the start. When you truly care about someone, it’s forever unconditional. When you truly love someone, everything they do is completely forgivable. But just because you love someone, doesn’t mean they’re meant to be in your life. Doors close for a reason; doesn’t matter who was wrong or who was right. People moving in different directions can never travel together on the same path. People with different perspectives can never build a friendship that will progress and last. Yes , letting go hurts… letting go is sad. But you’ll hurt yourself even more by holding on to the past. Trust in God’s plan.
I honestly cannot add to that. Other than to concur, yes it hurts. Like hell many days. But every day has gotten a little bit easier. Some days so little it’s almost undetectable. Other days so much that I’d skip everywhere I went if people wouldn’t think I was just turned loose from the funny farm. Today feels like a good day. Hallelujah.
So all in all, I’d say weigh your decisions with reason & balance. Weigh the facts against what your heart “feels”. Trust your gut, your instinct, the stable parts of your mind. Moreso than the slippery slopes in the heart.
Here’s to sound decisions & a heart filled with health & love at long-last – not angst & despair & bad decisions just because we are lonely.
This too shall pass.
Much love & hope – big beautiful hope,