For whatever reason, I was mulling this over earlier. Criticism.
It’s actually a form of control believe it or not. I should know – I used to be a master at it.
Think about it. When we are criticizing someone over something they are or aren’t doing – we really are just trying to get them to conform to our way – to what we want. Dare anyone try to do it to us though – right? Exactly. We love to dole it out but we can’t stand to have it returned in kind. Nope. (I am speaking relationally here – not at a job or at school. Sometimes our work needs tweaking – it’s how we learn.)
Fear is at the heart of criticism & control too, many times. Fear of losing that person somehow – fear that if things don’t go exactly as we’d like, everything may just fall apart at the seams. Hmm, but who died and left us in charge?
The more I have let go of control, the more peace I have. The more I have stopped being critical of others the more people trust me & open up to me -the more they want to be around me. It has been a gift. It is far less stressful to keep an eye on myself than on everyone around me. Far less worry when I just let people be who they are. Let it go. Just let it go.
(**Obviously, if someone is bringing real harm to you, then walk away. That’s not what I am referring to here.)
No one likes to be criticized or controlled – no one. So the next time you feel yourself on the verge of saying or doing something that is critical in nature, just stop & count to 3 – & choose not to. It will be really hard the first few times you do – especially if it’s been your nature to do it. I get it. I have been there. No judgment here. Letting things go was one of the hardest things ever for me. It was ridiculous.
But it is possible.
Much love, more kindness & letting go,