How Are You Carrying Yours?

“Life is not about what happened to us. It’s about how we choose to respond to what happens. It’s not the baggage that matters. It’s all in how you carry it.” – Lessons From The End Of A Marriage

I absolutely love this quote. It could not be more true, to me.

I have had a lot of “happenings” occur in my 44 years. And I have certainly drug around my share of baggage. It’s made me do some crazy things – invite some evil things in sometimes unawares & laid me out cold & alone much more than a time or two. I used to carry a wet, black blanket of shame everywhere I went & for the longest time when I walked out in public I stared at the ground. I did not like to meet the eyes of anyone – because surely they saw it. Whatever my scarlet letter was at that moment. Take your pick. I pretty much had them all.

Today, that shame is gone. It tries to re-visit from time to time, through the barb-laden words of people who really don’t understand me, or what they are doing. And sometimes in the drunken jeers of men – which honestly would have thrilled me at one time in my life, sadly –  & now they just turn my stomach. Victories. Thank you God.

I still stumble along sometimes in my imperfect-ness. And once in a while in my stumblings I make my way to the attic & grab an old bag or two – because I need the reminder. The reminder from whence I came. Looking back is not always healthy for everyone but it has helped me. Staying there? No. Glancing, poking & pondering – & being grateful I am not there anymore? Actually learning from it? Absolutely.

And do I still carry a bag? Yes, yes I do. It is smaller, lighter & embellished spottily with a few thorns. It keeps me dependent on God in that area of my life – and He has not failed me. He never will. Of that I am confident.

I am working on carrying it with grace & poise. Not there yet 100% – but I am headed & determined in that very direction.

With head held high.

Here’s to happenings & bags & victories –

Much love,

Bonnie

drop-your-baggage

 

 

 

 

 

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