My roommate’s daughter is going into a nursing program and would like to be a NICU nurse. She was a preemie herself born at just 1 pound 11 ounces & she is SO good with children -really has a gift. It will be a perfect career for her. She showed me a video last night of the journey of a mother & her baby – from 1.5 lbs to a thriving & bubbly baby boy. To have seen him at the end of the clip you would never know how he started. What a rewarding career it will be for her when she gets there.
As I was watching, I thought about how precious & fragile life is, at each stage. In the very beginning, when everything is fresh & new & so delicate. The growing & the learning what love is, who we can depend on, who rushes to our aide when we need something. We learn what is hot & cold & sweet & sour. And oh, the first taste of a lemon & how is it that we can’t help but taste it again? I mean, we have to. The perfect innocence of touching & tasting & digging & discovering things for the first time. Of dodging & diving & playing & laughing till tears stream down our faces, for the very first time. That’s a high nothing can top. I plan on laughing that way for the rest of my days. It is truly the best.
I thought about my own son & how I can remember like it was yesterday – holding his sweet chubby little self. Gurgling & cooing & laughing – he had the best belly laugh ever. To this day it is my favorite laugh on earth. And now he is 22, grown & thriving. And the vapor in between – the years that are just gone. If I am not careful I can get lost in that vapor & go to a place that’s hard to come back from. But I can’t – I won’t let myself. Because it’s in the here & now that I want to stay. The regrets, the forgiveness, the restoration of things nearly lost, the bond & the love that we share – that no one will ever take away from us. Not ever. It’s all worth it. It’s hard to fathom how much I love him. And to think God loves him eons above that is mind-blowing.
In life – in the middle parts – we bump along trying to find our way, sometimes stepping on land mines, bumping into invisible electric fences & life begins to teach us. Teaching us fear, & the lies fear hisses- the lies that begin to conform us to this world. The lies that build prison walls around us where we think we are safe. Where we find drugs or alcohol to numb the pain, or porn or abuse to get lost in. To some, that makes no sense at all. To those of us who have been there, it makes total sense. Some of us have had a harder road to hoe than others. It is what it is. I speak & share from a place like that – & I know a lot of you know that place too. I feel you my brothers & sisters. ❤ Other times – & thank God for those – we find ourselves in lush-laden fields of grace. The ones where we can roll around with wild abandon & be ourselves, where we can free. Where we are loved, and we love. Where fears begin to dissipate, & we start to realize our own life is precious too – not just those we love. Where we find ourselves – who we are – really. Precious, priceless, forgiven, pardoned, lifted & divinely loved beyond measure.
And then there is the end ~ which I cannot do any justice with words at the moment. Frankly it’s a place I have seen too much of in my life & of late as well. It is worth saying that stepping into glory – the new beginning for our loved ones we lost in their end – is something they would not trade for anything on earth.
Here is to life – from it’s miraculous beginning – to the middle & the end – & all the glorious, terrible, beautiful & love-ly in-betweens –
Much love & life y’all,