Busy-ness/Writer’s Block/I Don’t Know What/But Here Goes Anyway

My goal in the beginning of this blog was to write every weekday & take a break on weekends. Being the novice than I are – this has proven to be challenging. Especially in light of the weather getting warmer & as a result getting more busy with life in general. And also not wanting to sound like a broken record to all y’all out in Cyber-ville. Relaying my relating  –  my life – out into the great blue. There are prevailing themes- and I know they are things many of you can sit softly down with me in or do the ugly cry with me in. One or the other.

So here are some ramblings – & although they are numbered, it’s not by importance necessarily. I just felt like numbering. Welcome to my OCD-ness. This is the best I can do tonight. Forgive me & extend grace, pretty please. Kiss-kiss.

1. I flip-flop back & forth between really wanting a relationship again & just saying “Sh*t on it”… Funny thing is this article dropped in my lap just this morning. Give it a gander if you feel me on the flip-flop. It spoke.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/compassion-matters/201401/7-reasons-most-people-are-afraid-love

2. I could eat the back end out of a cow right now, Not sure what that’s about. Not “that” week either. And I can assure you, beyond the shadow of any smidge of a doubt, I am most certainly not pregnant. That would make it immaculate. TMI. Whatever. It is what it is.

3. I watched a movie tonight about a young lady whose son was taken from her when he was a toddler. She finally tracked him down some 50 years later only to find that he had died. I tried to put myself in her shoes. I thought about my son – & how he had such sweet chubby cheeks like hers did when he was little & she still could love him personally every day. And how now mine is 22. And I know exactly where he is. And how I just can’t take that for granted, not for one millisecond. Not ever. He is literally part of me & I, him. That’s a miracle. And one I didn’t deserve. A story for another day.

4. I am propped up currently in my own comfortable bed with my lil brown buddy sleeping sweetly nearby – meaning within serious-leg-stretching distance. And the fan that lulls me to sleep each night is humming in the corner. I’ve had it since 2000-something-BD (Before Divorce.) Still running strong. Like me. Sort of.

5. The other larger part of my bed remains empty. But it’s really easy to make up every morning that way. Perk.

6. And part of my heart is too. But the way I see it is this. That just leaves a wide-open-space for a new occupant, should the opportunity arise. Perk.

7. I think I’ll just marinate on that last one. That was sort of an epiphany.

8. Perspective.

Much love y’all,

Bonnie

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