Dames If We Do – Dames If We Don’t

I witnessed something that totally pissed me off at lunch on Monday. I went into a local retail store to look around and kill some time. Neither of the two clerks even acknowledged me when I came in. They both saw me. Normally, this particular chain always makes a point to speak to each patron as they come in – not in this case. Eventually one of them said hello when I was basically standing on top of her by an accessories rack she was re-stocking. And the hello was even snarky. Wow, ok. But that’s not what made me so angry.

At the time I was the only person besides the employees in the entire place. I was looking at the shoes, because I love them šŸ™‚ when I heard someone else come in. One of the clerks began talking to her in a familiar tone, and made mention she had not seen her in a while. I thought “Well, they are nice to the regulars I guess..” and kept looking. Whatever. She was a bubbly thing & sounded sweet so I peeked around to see her. She was a statuesque, beautiful, well-coiffed brunette wearing a cute outfit, that she most likely purchased there. Very nicely put together – makeup, accessories, the whole deal. They made small talk at the counter for a few minutes then the girl left. No sooner than she was out the door & the 2 clerks started in – talking about her weight, in particular. It was clear she was confident and well put-together and those women couldn’t stand it. It made me sick to my stomach, hearing them yammer on. I turned on my heel and walked out, fuming. I may not ever visit that particular store again.

It just really hit me – how awful we women can be to one another. How awful jealousy is, how awful insecurities are. I thought she was beautiful – never mind the weight. I’ve struggled with my own for years. All us women have struggles with our appearance. Some to greater degrees than others – but struggles are struggles, and they are all valid. I just couldn’t believe how they lit into her and she had no idea. She looked so pretty standing there smiling & talking away to this lady who was about to rip her to shreds when she walked out. It was disgusting. I think people who talk the most crap about other people & cut them down feel the worst inside – we project onto others how we really feel about ourselves. That’s how I was anyway, years back. If I passed a girl who I thought was really beautiful or dressed like I wished I could, or drove a car I’d like to have – it made me jealous & mad. Because I wanted to be her, whatever “that” meant. Because I felt so awful about me. I get it. But it’s so damaging. And so ridiculous. And so sad. Like I was.

I cannot say enough how much worth & value we all have no matter our size, skin color, orientation – how precious we all are. Some of the most beautiful people outwardly I’ve met are the ugliest because of the lies they believe & spew out. For what, the pursuit of perfection? Ha! Good luck with that one. And then some of the most unassuming outwardly I’ve met are the most beautiful, because of who they are on the inside.

We smile & we hiss through the same teeth – and we do it to all in the name of making ourselves feel better. But does it really ever work? News flash – nope.

God help us all. To love more. To really “see” each other more – more than just the outside – physical or material. To stop hating because someone has something we want. You never know what price someone had to pay to get to where they are in any area of their life. Stop ass–uming, stop back-biting, stop gossiping, stop hating. It makes us incredibly ugly & isn’t cool in the slightest, despite what we think.

Make a conscious effort to start treating people the way we’d really want to be treated – really. No one wants to be rejected, lied to, preyed upon, back-stabbed. None of us do. Cliche or not, be the kind of friend you’d want to have.

Peace y’all – just one more great way to attain it…

Bonnie

j2

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