Clean Feet

I have someone in my life that I love beyond very much who has battled drug addiction for several years. He is an amazing soul. A fighter if I have ever seen one, has a huge heart and is strikingly good looking, whip-smart & off-the-cuff funny. He has been clean now for over a year & in a wonderful program. Thank you God he is alive today.

There was a time though where I never knew from one day to the next if he’d live or die. In fact, to stay sane, I had to come to peace with his death – so that if I did face it I could survive it somehow. So I could sleep at night. And so I didn’t stay in a constant state of panic. I remember one time going to see him and he was just a mess, which doesn’t even begin to describe his state. He was living on the streets by this time & he looked awful. Pale & gaunt, shifty & nervous -I could see no real life at all.  I will never forget that day looking down at his feet. They were so dirty. His toenails were all long, broken & jagged.  And it looked like someone had been putting cigarettes out on the bottoms of them. For all I know he could have done it to himself.

Last night I was outside enjoying the beautiful evening and my heart began turning this way & that, my mind going right along with it – the rat on the wheel that lives in my head.  In that quiet space on the back porch, I began to talk to God. The moment just called for it.

Like a broken record the beginning, admittedly, was unrelated angst over what has felt like a proverbial thorn & my asking yet again for Him to please remove it from me, but I quickly shifted to gratitude. And oh, how much sweeter it was. Note to self.

Then I started thinking about this loved one I mentioned above, and where God has brought him from. I believe with my whole heart it was in fact God. It is nothing short of a miracle he is still here. I know it in my knower, like I know my name.

And then the memory of his dirty feet came drifting up, and suddenly it just hit me, like a blaze of glorious light in the depths & death of darkness. His feet aren’t dirty anymore.

He now works every day & makes an honest living. has food to eat & an actual appetite & nice clothes on his back.  And he comes home to a safe place where he gets a shower every night. And his feet are clean. Hallelujah.

Such a seemingly small & insignificant thing that I am sure most of us take for granted. But right there in that aha awe-inspiring moment, a very huge thing to me.

Enough to put me on my face for a while. And when I rose, I knew what my next blog would be about.

My cup overflows.

feet-wash

 

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12 thoughts on “Clean Feet

  1. I’m not a believer in god but I do know the loved one you talk of is a strong person to overcome such an addiction, I wish him all the best for the future and hope you have many happy years laughing and smiling together .

    Liked by 1 person

  2. The person you describe at the beginning of the post and the condition he was in could have been my son. Only his feet aren’t clean yet. That’s a powerful image you’ve employed. How often have I seen him with his feet beat up and blistered, walking like he was crippled, because he spent all day wandering from one sad place to the next. I hope he has the break-through your loved one did. Thanks for sharing this. Bless you and yours.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Wendy

    I love this….the “little” things are what stops me in my tracks and make me realize just how BIG God is because He cares about those “little” things….this is beautiful btw

    Liked by 1 person

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